


A Different Sort of Curse

by Wombat (Superwombat6)



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989)
Genre: Gen, Humor, a lot of obscenity, i marked it teen cuz idk if excessive swearing counts for that???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 15:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19134832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwombat6/pseuds/Wombat
Summary: A woman complains of a minor haunting, possibly caused by a witch's curse. The Ghostbusters are on the scene!They may find this one to be a tad unconventional, though.





	A Different Sort of Curse

**Author's Note:**

> If I recall correctly, I got this idea somewhat indirectly from a tumblr post. Ended up having quite a bit of fun with it!

"Uh huh... ma'am, please slow down... okay, so you _were_ warned of a haunting when you first moved in? Okay... Mm hmm, please give me a brief description and I'll get you an appointment."

Panicked babbling was audible even from a few feet away from the phone. Janine Melnitz regarded the opposite wall with a flat stare, trying to pick the useful information out of the mess. Sounded like a simple little class 1 with a particularly jumpy victim. Janine glanced down at her nails, idly picking at the chipping nail polish -- she'd have to re-apply it later -- and waiting for the woman on the other end of the line to finish.

"All right, ma'am," she said gently as the client finally calmed. "I've got you down for an appointment tomorrow morning, is that all right? Yes, I assure you, from your description the ghost is quite harmless. _Yes_ , I know what I'm talking about. _No_ , there are no earlier appointments available. Okay, let me just take down the address..."

\----

The Ghostbusters were a little late in arriving the next morning. Dr. Peter Venkman and Dr. Ray Stantz climbed out of the Ecto-1, both sporting patches and smears of slimy ectoplasm on their uniforms. They quickly gathered their gear and headed to the door -- which promptly opened before Venkman could even knock.

The woman behind the door was tall and thin, and looked very much like she hadn't slept for a couple of days. "Ghostbusters, right?"

"Yes ma'am, that's us," replied Venkman coolly. "I’m Dr. Peter Venkman and this is Dr. Ray Stantz. May I have the pleasure of knowing our lovely client's name?"

"Uhh..." The woman hesitated, shrinking awkwardly back from the flirtatious man. She glanced nervously at Dr. Stantz, who offered an apologetic shrug. "Um, I'm Ms. Rockland. Elizabeth Rockland."

Peter opened his mouth to speak but Ray quickly cut him off. "Well, Ms. Rockland, you don't need to worry any more-- we'll take care of your little haunting. What can you tell us?"

The woman let the two inside and closed the door behind them. Stantz pointedly ignored Peter's disgruntled look at the shut-down.

"Well, when I first looked at the house, the real-estate agent said that a witch lived here about a hundred years ago -- it's an old house, y'know, lot's of history--"

"Of course," Ray said with a nod. "We see a lot of buildings like this. So, a witch?"

Rockland hesitated. "Er, yes. I figured he was just exaggerating; you know how it is. He said she'd laid a curse on the house or something, but I, ah... well, it sounds silly saying it to you guys, but I never really believed in all that stuff."

"That's okay," Venkman assured her. "Neither did I, for a long time."

"Peter," Ray scolded. "Cut it out." He returned his attention to their client. "Anyway, ma'am, any details you can give about the haunting? I know you described it to Janine, but I'd like to hear it from you, too."

"So would I," Peter added, smiling slyly.

Continuing to keep Stantz in between her and Venkman, Rockland nodded. "Um, well, it started about a week ago. I kept hearing someone shouting cursewords. At first I thought it was neighborhood kids, y'know, horsing around late at night, but then I heard it clearly coming from inside the house."

"Cursewords?" Ray echoed. "Huh. Okay, continue..."

"Well, obviously I was really nervous about it, like, y'know, why would I be hearing something like that? Well I tried to ignore it, just assume it was a prank or something, until the other day, when I..." She hesitated, wringing her hands. "I saw something."

Ray's eyes lit up. "Ooh, visual confirmation!"

More calmly, Venkman added, "How about you describe what you saw? ' _Something_ ' isn't exactly a lot to go on."

"Uh, right," Rockland said nervously. "It was just kind of a little blobby thing. I saw it in the kitchen, from the doorway there--" she pointed, and Ray raised a PKE meter toward the spot, "and I think I saw a face. Uh, kind of."

"A face?"

"More like a pair of glowy spots for eyes and a little dark hole for a mouth."

"I see."

"Uh, it looked at me, at least I think it did, and it uh... it cursed at me and then disappeared."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "I think we'll need a little more than that to go on..."

Rockland reddened. "Oh, sorry... It was kind of--"

"Did it look like that, by any chance?"

Both Peter and the client looked up at Ray's interjection, and followed his pointing finger to the source of his query. The PKE meter in his other hand buzzed, its wings extended to their full height.

"Huh," Peter mused. "Well, how about that."

Hovering in the middle of the kitchen, about four feet off the ground, was an amorphous orange blob of ethereal light. Just as Rockland had described, it had a pair of beady, glowing eyes and an almost cartoonish frowning mouth.

" _Ah,_ **_FUCK_** _!_ **_SHIT_** _!_ "

The three humans stared as it zipped off into the ceiling, still spewing swears.

"Well," said Venkman slowly. "You don't see that every day."

"C'mon!" Ray cried, shaking himself into action. He quickly spotted the stairs and darted up, following his PKE meter's signal. His voice echoed from upstairs, "Pete, get a trap ready!"

"Yes, mother," Venkman muttered, heading for the stairs at a far more sedate pace. He glanced back at Rockland and winked. "Be back in a jiff."

"Please just hurry, I want that thing gone."

There was a clatter upstairs, and a screamed curseword, finally urging Peter to pick up the pace. He arrived to see the little spirit ensnared in Ray's capture stream, swearing up a storm.

Peter took a moment to stare, impressed. "You know, I could take some real inspiration from this little thing. It's getting pretty creative."

"Just throw the trap!"

Smirking slightly, Peter complied, waiting for the trap to roll to a stop before stomping the pedal to trigger it. Ray shut off his stream and both Ghostbusters shielded their eyes as a blinding cone of light emerged from the trap and enveloped the ghost. A few seconds later, it beeped softly and the red capture indicator light blinked on.

With a light huff, Ray stepped forward and picked up the trap. "Well, that's taken care of. Little guy had a surprising amount of fight in him!"

Raising an eyebrow, Venkman examined the room. It looked like they were in the bedroom, now sporting a shattered lamp and lightly singed curtains. "Well, not too bad. Lucky lady."

Stantz was already headed for the stairs, chattering excitedly. "It was almost like it temporarily elevated to a class 2 when I confronted it! I can't wait to tell Spengler!"

"Uh-huh, I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

\----

"Oh, _Janiiiine!_ We're _hooome!_ "

The receptionist couldn't help but roll her eyes at Venkman's singsong voice as the Ecto-1 rolled in. Boy did she have a surprise for them.

Ray and Peter emerged from the car, the latter holding a smoking ghost trap by its cord.

"Hey, Janine," Ray greeted. "We took care of that class 1 out on Staten Island."

"Nicely done," she replied flatly, "but I have some bad news."

"Oh?"

"We have a visitor."

Venkman came up besides Ray at her desk. "I don't like the sound of that."

Janine made a face. "A visitor from P.C.O.C."

The two men looked at each other and groaned. _Peck_.

"He's waiting in your office, Dr. Venkman."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Tell him to wait just a minute while I deposit our new friend here into the containment unit." He headed for the basement stairs.

"Tell him yourself!" Janine snapped.

An irritated voice piped up from the enclosure behind her desk, the area that served as Venkman's office. "I heard him _just fine_ , Ms. Melnitz. This better not take too long."

Glancing furtively around, Ray hurried toward the stairs as well, hoping to avoid Peck's notice. He'd rather avoid a meeting with the bureaucrat if possible. He froze upon reaching the basement, finding Peter not by the containment unit, but instead crouched on the floor with the trap.

"Pete, what--"

" _Shh!_ " Venkman held a finger to his lips, a huge smirk spread across his face. "Just a little... equipment malfunction," he whispered.

Ray stared, bemused. " _What?_ " he hissed.

"C'mon, Ray, you saw how harmless this little thing is. Besides, it'll be _hilarious_. Just imagine the look on ol' Pecker's face."

Reluctant though he was to do something so rash, Ray had to admit that Peter had a point. If there was one thing they agreed on in this matter, it was that _nobody_ liked Walter Peck. Stantz nodded hesitantly, then scurried back upstairs. "Look out, we have a defective trap! The little slug got out!"

Venkman snickered and shook his head, then hit the release. _This_ was why they were friends.

" _Mother_ ** _FUCKER_** _!!!_ " howled the ghost, hurtling up through the ceiling.

Venkman snorted, trying hard to suppress his laughter. "Oh, I think me and that little guy are gonna get along just fine," he muttered cheerfully. He trotted back up the steps to find a furious Peck and a Stantz who was trying very hard to look innocent and worried.

"Whoops, my bad," Venkman said lightly, holding his hands up in a shrug. "Darn thing slipped out before I could get it secure."

The ghost had evidently gravitated immediately to Peck, and was circling a few feet above his head with a steady stream of profanity. The bureaucrat was white with fury, his beady eyes fixed on Peter. "Well, will you _fix_ this already?!"

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Venkman waited several long seconds, regarding the ghost with practiced nonchalance. He stalled just long enough to really get Peck's goat, then shrugged again. "Nah. 'S pretty harmless."

"I beg your _pardon?!_ "

Ray grinned sheepishly. "Well, he's not wrong. It's just a little class 1 vaporous apparition, those vocalizations are about the most it can do."

"I. Don't. _Care!_ Get _rid_ of it!"

A wolfish grin appeared on Peter's face. "Certainly, we could recapture it if you want to pay an extra fee for trapping and containment. Our equipment ain't cheap, you know."

Peck was livid. The ghost swirled closer, parroting some of the politician's recent exclamations.

"Hey, I think he likes you!"

"Be _quiet_ , Mr. Venkman!" Peck snapped. "I don't have time for this!"

"What a coincidence! It just so happens that I don't have time set aside for self-entitled pricks this month, so I guess we just don't have the time to meet. Tragic!"

Growling, Peck withdrew a folder from his jacket and slapped it on the table. "Don't get smart with me, Venkman. This is what I came for -- and believe me I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to. The insurance claims have been through the roof for the past several months and the mayor wants to assure that you people are actually _trying_ to avoid property damage. The city's support will only go so far."

Sauntering to the desk, Peter lifted the cover of the folder like something rotten and repulsive. "What, you couldn't just mail it?"

"The _mayor_ ," Peck sneered, "wanted to ensure that it got delivered. This is a matter of importance, and I suggest you take it seriously."

"Yeah, yeah, it'll get done. Is that it, or are you just enjoying the ambience of our lovely little spectral friend?"

" _Stupid son of a_ **_WHORE_ ** _prick!_ " screeched the ghost.

Peter nodded approvingly.

Enraged, Peck spun on his heel and stormed off. "I'll be back to collect your report in a few days," he called over his shoulder. "I _expect_ that it will be _done_ by then!"

Venkman waited until the bureaucrat had gone, then looked up at the little apparition. It had followed Peck to the door, but then floated back toward the office. Peter's gaze drifted to Ray with a huge grin.

"We really should get that thing back in the trap," Stantz mused.

"Raaay..."

"No."

"Can we keep it?"

"No!"

" ** _FUCK_ ** _YOU!_ "

"I think it likes you!"

" _Peter!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I'm pretty sure the Ghostbusters visit Staten Island a grand total of once in the main canon? As far as I can recall, at least, there may be stuff in the cartoon I'm missing but... there's one annual comic in the IDW series that goes to SI and that's it. Poor, poor forgotten borough.
> 
> Then again, Venkman probably makes them charge a premium for SI visits, because he's petty like that. The free ferry still carried cars at the time, he can't even chalk it up to bridge tolls.
> 
> Anyway, I loved the idea of a rumored "witch's curse" amounting to nothing more than a witch uttering a curse word or two. The thought of what sort of minor haunting that might lead to was too fun to pass up.


End file.
